Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Writer's Voice Competition


Name: Dani Nau
Title: Give Me Ears To Hear Me Speak
Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
Prologue
            “Jules. Welcome to the world of the sinner; the world of the lost souls, the ones who were left vulnerable and found no solace with anything in life.
Her voice echoed in my mind, those words repeating themselves over and over again. After all of the months that I had spent contemplating the afterlife, I never really thought this was how I would die. When I was younger, I used to be terrified of death. So terrified that my mother would snap at me to just stop thinking about it and move on. I distinctly remember sitting in the fetal position and rocking back and forth because Johnny Forgelsong had described, in detail, just how awful death would be at second recess. And I had always been plagued with an obsessively creative mind that dwelled far too long on things, which was most likely why Mother became so irritated with me back then.
            I did push it from my mind for years, but recently it had flooded my mind once more. And as before, I became obsessive, though not in the frightened way I had. I considered every possibility, every way that I could die and how easy it would be not to feel again. How simple it would be, how less draining.
            But I never thought it would be like this.
            I could see the surface now, reflecting the world before me. There were trees ten feet tall, their emerald green leaves heightened by the soft, rolling waves of the tide.

Query Plot summary:

Welcome to the world of the sinner; the world of the lost souls, the ones who were left vulnerable and found no solace with anything in life.

These are the first words that depressed, 20-year-old Jules hears after accidentally falling into the river near her home. After contemplating suicide for quite some time, Jules follows in her literary hero’s footsteps. She fills an overcoat with stones and climbs onto the edge of a bridge, preparing to jump just as Virginia Woolf had so many years before. However, at the last second she chickens out and turns to leave, but as fate would have it, she stumbles upon her coat and slips backwards into the river. However, she quickly realizes that perhaps she hasn’t died. In fact, she can breathe normally and as she travels downwards, she discovers a world created for suicidal people. This world, which mimics the world she just left, seems almost magical at the beginning. Here she finds company with the bubbly Norah and the solemn, sunglass-wearing Sid who offers insight and a pair of ears to hear her suffering. While still alive, Jules discovers that she has lost more than she originally thought. Not only is she stuck in this new world that seems to hold secrets just out of her reach, but she also can’t physically feel anything except for her emotions, which unfortunately are all pointed in the depressed direction. As she struggles with her past demons and her utter confusion of what she is really meant to do in this world, she discovers that in order to be seen and heard, she has to reach out herself.


36 comments:

  1. Good luck in the contest!

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  2. Sounds intriguing! Like your first 250! Good luck! Brandi #199

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    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate you reading my query and first 250 words!

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  3. Interesting premise - sort of an alternate reality of purgatory? Good luck. #195

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    1. Thank you! Yes, it's a take on a purgatory, but it explores what might happen in the after life for those who are suicidal. The overall theme is reaching out to others and showing that you want to be loved. My main character is extremely shy and doesn't know how to connect with people, so she learns quite a bit in this new world.

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  4. Purgatory!! My favorite realm! Interesting stuff! Good luck ;o)

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  5. Thank you so much! I loved writing it. It was very fun! I really appreciate the comment!

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  6. Hi Danielle, I was taken in by the first 250 words of your story — it sounds like a very emotional and profound journey is in store for your hero, Jules. She has a lot of inner demons that she has to conquer, which can really draw you in.

    Keep up the writing, and good luck to you!

    John
    #196

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    1. Thank you so much for the comment! It really means a lot to me. I like getting feedback on my story, so I really appreciate you taking the time to write on my blog. Your dystopian novel sounds wonderful and I love the world you have created. The details in your story are great! I wish you all of the luck in this contest and in your writing journey as well.

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  7. A very interesting idea. Just a note - if your MC is 20, this will be considered adult, not YA.

    I enjoyed your first 250.

    Good luck!

    Tina (#194)

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    1. Thanks for the note! I really appreciate you reading my query and first 250 words.

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  8. Sounds like a great story! Cool title!!

    Good luck,
    Tessa #183

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  9. Wow! Very cool concept! Good luck!

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    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate the comment!

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  10. Wow! Great concept! Good luck!!

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    1. Thanks! I really appreciate you stopping by and reading my writing!

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  11. I love this! Found you linked from John Krissilas's page and I'm glad I did. Another compelling and meaningful read - I would definitely read this (:) in fact it sounds like you have a lot of the same type of thoughts that I do).
    An earlier poster said that if your MC was 20 then this wouldn't be a YA - I don't think I agree with that. If you believe your book is targeted to YA then that is the genre you should aim at - but take the advice of the agent you get on this (and I'm sure you'll get one - your writing is just amazing).
    Good luck.

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    1. Thank you so much! This means so much to me! You have definitely made my day with this comment. I really appreciate you stopping and reading my writing! I just finished reading your story and it sounds amazing! I am going to stop by and post on there, but I wanted to let you know that this post has meant a lot to me!

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  12. I liked the premise of this a lot!! It is very unique!

    Good luck in the contest!

    Summer - #40

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    1. Thanks for the comment! I really appreciate you stopping by and reading my writing!

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  13. Hmm, a VERY intriguing premise! You've peaked my interest! Good luck!

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  14. Hi Danielle. I'm stopping by from the Writer's Voice contest (entry #58) to wish you the best of luck. Nice to meet you!

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    1. Thanks! Nice to meet you as well and good luck!

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  15. Intriguing opening. I enjoy afterlife-type stories.

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    1. Thanks! I really enjoy reading afterlife stories as well. I find them very thought provoking!

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  16. Good luck!! This is a very interesting story idea.

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    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate the comment!

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  17. Interesting concept, Danielle. :) Best of luck!

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  18. Hi Danielle, Love your first 250, your writing is definately on the dark side - as I'm beginning to supect mine is as well. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you so much! It's nice to hear from others that they find my story interesting. It definitely makes me feel better! :) I looked at your story as well and I think it sounds very intriguing. I would love to read more!

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